tonight i am thinking about an exodus... i don't know if i will leave or not. but i know it is time for a change. something is being renewed and it is time for some transition and change.
i need to exit the world of academia, the world of evangelical extremism/terrorism, the world of the south, the world of hate...
today, i was walking to my truck and a hawk flew into a tree about 25 feet in front of me. when i got to the tree, i stood under it and just looked up til i spotted her. i looked her in the eyes for a while and just watched her... it took my breath away.
last thursday night, a beautiful person i love beyond my understanding was upset and i held her for a couple minutes and it touched my heart in a way that it still isn't the same. and it wrecked me and healed me all at once...
that same night, i talked with a room full of 18 yr old girls about the experience of being a woman and about what it means to let down our guards, go deeper, and relate to one another...
even later that night, i wrote a lullaby for that dear friend i held, and i have been singing it ever since...
those are the worlds i want to live in.
the ache is deep and growing deeper...
and i am more and more restless and unsettled...
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