swear word

i have to admit: i feel a little guilty about how the last couple of posts have been dark and depressing... but then i think, well it's where i'm at... and i really see that many of the things i am sorting through are things that other lesbians and gay men struggle through. things that haunt us. things that disillusion us. things that tell us lies - that we are unloved and unlovable.

too often, we find ourselves isolated and alone, and unwelcome in certain circles - namely: the Church… and there is one word that sums up the frustration, hurt and disappointment. a word that too many people see as positive. a word that divides and a word that creates distance and difference of power.

tolerance.

this is a swear word.

if you really love people who are gay, don’t use it. don’t speak it. don’t think it. and definitely don’t encourage it.

think about how that word is used… usually, when we say it, we mean that we will put up with, bear, or endure something that kind of irks us, annoys us, or, pardon the expression, just absolutely pisses us off.

now, here is where some people are going to disagree and start arguing with me, but please read further…

i understand that many people who believe that “homosexual behavior” is wrong think tolerance is a great thing… however, since when is it ok to tell someone that you are tolerant of them as a person? and since when is it ok to group together people who were made in the image of God and label them all as an issue… and furthermore, an issue we are “tolerant” of…?

no, my friends, we cannot be tolerant of people. tolerance is not enough… reconciliation – that’s the aim we should be rising to… now that may mean being “tolerant” of behaviors that we disagree with… but people need to be accepted, affirmed, and validated.

we need a new vocabulary.

a vocabulary of love. a vocabulary of commitment. a vocabulary of true community.

i’m still sorting through what this might look like… and i hope that others will join me in thinking this through…

for me, and probably many other gay people, tolerance is like being lukewarm… people who say they are tolerant are people who don’t want to fully embrace us because they see us as lepers or depraved sinners, but they are too concerned about their image to admit that…

so they choose “tolerance” … and it makes us want to vomit.

reconciliation.

please.

it is possible…