there are a couple of thoughts that i have been ruminating over the past couple of days, so i thought i would share them...
the first thought came to me last night as i read a news story and the comments which readers had posted beneath it. the story was tragic and one we have all read before... a youth minister who has been arrested and charged with sexually abusing members of the youth group... a male youth minister... abusing young boys. the difference: this minister is a kid who has been in my house. this minister is a friend of a family member. it is tragic.
also tragic are the comments. that god does not exist. that this guy proves that god doesn't exist. that he is just "a flaming homosexual using the church to meet his unnatural lustful desires"...
comments like these and hate speech make me think we should revoke the freedom of speech. and invoke a new freedom. freedom of intelligent speech. there are groups on facebook where people say that gay people are fags, morons, and ruining the moral fabric of the nation. there are politicians and civic leaders who fire teachers for talking to their classes about hate crimes against gays and lesbians. there are churches and pastors who say that God hates gay people and that all gays have an agenda to end the family as we know it.
these people should be made to shut up. and for once... listen.
listen.
we'll never reconnect, unless we learn to really listen. to see each other and hear each other. why can we not exercise the freedom of intelligent speech?
the second thought came to me this morning as i was formulating some thoughts on why i want to do therapy by a certain model called interpersonal process. i always say that i believe in the power of the relationship... but why?
i came to a conclusion this morning that i think is truth. so i share it with you in hopes for dialogue...
relationships are never ineffectual. every relationship has an effect on a person. however small. and to further that thought, every relationship either brings harm or healing. even in the smallest of doses.
how can i make sure that i bring healing to others? how does this thought affect how the church deals with the lgbt community? how does it change the way we see each other and treat each other?
til next time, i leave you with those thoughts...
i need to add something...
ReplyDeleteafter talking with a friend, i realized that i forgot to write that many relationships bring both healing and harm... but one is going to outweigh the other. so while we might strive to bring healing, we might sometimes unintentionally bring harm... however, we hope that there is more healing.
- C (a black sheep)
I think the most important part of any relationship is to be in it more for the good of the other person than ourselves...it's like...God put me here to serve, so in all I do (though I'm human and sometimes selfish) I desire to serve others...to somehow bring more beauty to their lives when they realize their importance...if we truly strive to help more than hurt, love more than hate, listen more than speak...then maybe more healing than harm can occur...
ReplyDeleteAya,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more. For so many, the relationship is about self-fulfillment, or completion. Not about service/love/devotion for the other. I especially like what you said about bringing beauty to others' lives. If that were the focus of every relationship, this world would look so different...
Thanks so much for your incredible insight. It's certainly added some points to dialogue on and deepened the conversation.
I think all we can hope for is to not hurt someone. Sure, we don't always intentionally do it, but there are times when it happens. When we are in a relationship for the reasons of it benefiting us, I think that is when it has the potential to be very hurtful. Seeing a relationship as an opportunity to be with a person who has much to teach you and where you can be in a position to grow is a wonderful thing. I like the idea that we bring beauty into other's lives as well. I believe that it can be as simple as saying something kind, but think about how often we think negative thoughts or only about ourselves and ignore the other person. Relationships are hard, friendship, family or otherwise, and the only thing we can strive for is not to intentionally cause harm.
ReplyDelete-p