it's like an anthem i keep repeating in my heart this morning.
i think of the pain of a girl who faces criminal charges, and she is 9 months pregnant.
God.
and all of the injustice and pain and life circumstance that has brought her to this place.
i am also thinking about the hatred and injustice and violent oppression against people like me.
is.
about how it feels to think God hates you.
about how indifferent people are to our suffering.
about how the response "well it's a sin. i can't support that"
just
doesn't
cut it.
Great.
.
.
God.
dear friends, i need your prayers. i've been writing less and less on here for multiple reasons. one of them being that i am finally focusing my writing energy into the book this blog was meant for. the vision i've had since i first began writing on here, sorting out my thoughts and growing in my journey. the other reason is because i have felt less like a black sheep in many ways. this blog reflected light peeking out of my place of darkness and heaviness.
but i find myself here today as that darkness and heaviness is closer to me. my heart is heavy.
as i write the words of a story that needs to be heard, of a prayer that needs to be prayed, of a litany that needs to be spoken and responded to...
i more and more deeply feel the pain.
i am more and more aware of even more hatred and ignorance.
i see the scapegoating and the lies.
i feel the heartache of many of my friends. and revisit the heartache of my own.
is.
after watching tv and seeing some extreme hatred and violence toward people like us a few nights ago, i felt myself sinking a little.
feeling a little defeated.
saying love wins more as a prayer and a hope than of a firm belief.
d noticed.
she called me on it.
as i cried and told her i was afraid of the hate and the violence and that i don't want anything to happen to her or the children we will oneday have,
she held me.
she told me we just have to surround ourselves with people who love and support us. our truest friends. we need you.
Great.
friends, please pray for me. for the strength to continue to write. and that i can find some peace and assurance while i am writing.
my heart is so full of love. and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
i do believe that God is Great. that love wins. and that it's our togetherness that makes us strong.
that Christ is with us, in us, through us.
and that his great grace will lead us on.
