last night i attended a celebration and send off for a dear friend. celebrating her engagement and a new chapter in her life as we said farewell for now as she is moving to europe.
i noticed a lot about myself while i was there - noticing that i enjoyed talking with the guys and felt comfortable with them. noticed that their compliments on my looks felt more like i would imagine it would for straight girls when their friends compliment them.
i noticed how much more comfortable i am with me and how much more at home i am. i noticed how confident i am even around people who have emotionally hurt me.
i noticed i like me. a lot.
recently, a friend told me that the thing that sticks out the most in our friendship is that i have taught her about love - what it means to love unconditionally and to love the outcast and people who are different. i'm still blown away to know i am living my purpose now. i don't have to wait.
i am starting to get nervous about closing one chapter of my life and starting another. there is so much potential and quite a few appealing options. i even have the ability to come out and be out. no more secrets. no more hiding.
as i am looking to the future though, i am trying to be present and not worry. the more me i am the better my relationships are and the better chance i have for love. seems simple, but it's been a challenge i am doing everything in my power to rise to and win - from alternative medicine to exercise to therapy to not letting my past hurts and the opinions of others get in my way. i am burning away my insecurities and being me now instead of later.
i read a quote by anne frank which i found in the form of a bumpersticker for my truck...
"how wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
now.
and i am and i am seeing it.
it's all coming down to love.
i was catching up with a lifelong friend yesterday, and during our conversation i said i wasn't sure what i thought about absolute truth and multiple truths... but that there are a few absolute truths i believe in for sure...
and the ultimate truth is love.
it was true. it will be true.
it is true now.
may we all live in the truth of love.
amen
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