embrace

this morning, i feel a sense of urgency
urgency to rise from ashes
to take off the torn rags
to sing once again
to run

urgency to embrace who i am
more fully
more passionately
more publicly

i'm limited in how out i can be
because of my place of work

but a simple step struck me this morning

ever since i began this blog,
i have been known on here by my first initial (C.)
and then the description: A Black Sheep

it is important to note that i still feel like a black sheep
and i will certainly continue to write here and work toward reconciliation and justice for my communities - all of them.
but if you look back on old posts, you will see a post called "name"
those of you who know me, know what a pivotal moment that was for me.
and now for a new moment.

this moment, i will embrace that name
love
and yes, i still identify with the oppressed
my heart still bleeds and longs for true relationship to form across the divides

only now when i sign my name,
it will be the name God, Love named me

my name is love...
and i am so loved...

live creatively (in part :: the second)

we often talk about about wanting to change the world. the truth is that we all change the world every day, for better or for worse. we do it in little actions, in little omissions. in the things we say, and in the things we do not say.

words to a friend (with a small edit for my writer's ego). but words to us all.

i go further in my thoughts as i reflect on words of wisdom i find hard to believe came from me.

i think about how every morning, there is newness and possibility. i think about how we make little decisions throughout the day, and how every thing we do affects someone else. the coffee i drink affects the retailer, the roaster, the farmer. the people who live near the farm.

it is like chaos theory, like the butterfly effect. constantly.

and so we must live creatively. to do the creative best with what we have.

this weekend, i had hoped to be a part of a coming out/solidarity service organized by a dear friend and co-journeyer. though i am unable to go and participate in person, i will be cheering her on from a distance. and participating through support and love and finding creative ways to do so.

let every decision i make, every little action and every omission, every word and every silence change the world for good. so that justice will flow like a mighty river. beginning with this vessel of peace. and may you, too. and may we be unstoppable forces for creative living and change.